Posts Tagged ‘budget’

Well, we are, as of Friday, officially “popeless”, and to make it worse I just heard that the Cardinals won’t be getting Pujols back any time soon. I know what you are thinking, “it’s a sad day for Catholics the world over.” But fortunately we have the sequestration, and subsequently the end of the world as we know it, to keep our minds off of it. But before R.E.M. starts playing, let me set your mind at ease.

0bama, as usual, has been traveling around the nation telling scary stories that would put even the most gruesome campfire tales to shame. Then again, what do you expect from a community organizer? All he knows how to do is campaign. His answer for any problem is tax it, regulate it, subsidize it, campaign about it, rinse and repeat. Fiscal Cliff? Campaign for higher taxes. Gun violence? Campaign for strict regulations. Expensive healthcare? Campaign to subsidize it. Erectile Dysfunction? Campaign to subsidize free Viagra and tax the evil rich to pay for it.

The funny thing about the sequester cuts is that 0bama came up with them in 2011, but now he acts like the Republicans invented them to destroy the earth. Actually the Republicans are getting blamed for something that was dreamed up by a Democrat president, supported by Democrat representatives, and passed by a Democrat majority in the Senate. The Republicans in Congress even offered to give 0bama the power to change and rearrange them at his leisure and he turned it down. He has done what he is best at; creating an enemy and campaigning against that enemy. It’s a tactic referred to as a straw man. 0bama does this as well as anyone could and, with the help of the media to keep the illusion of an actual enemy, how could he be stopped? The problem is now the media is starting to notice the puppet strings and the puppet master is not happy about it.

Bob Woodward, the liberal media grandfather, has made the mistake of calling 0bama out on the sequester fallacy. He rightly pointed out that the “sequester cuts” aren’t really cuts at all. In reality, far away from liberal land, these cuts are only reductions in a planned spending increase.

Example: if I had a monthly budget for entertainment and I spent $50 a month, but I decided at the start of next year I would begin spending $100 a month, that is a spending increase of $50. If I then changed my mind and decided to spend only $75 a month I really didn’t make a cut. A cut would have been for me to cut the original $50 to $25.

Simple right? Thats what Bob thought too, but as soon as he called the president out, the rest of the media circled the wagons around 0bama and started discrediting him, calling him a Republican lapdog and the like. What was most surprising to Bob was an email he received from an unnamed senior White House official warning him that he would regret his heresy to the totalitarian in office. Woodward wouldn’t say who he received the email from, only that it was a senior White House official.

Now that we are beyond the deadline and nothing has happened, my question is what will 0bama do? His whole scheme was to wait until the deadline and do his best to scare everyone into believing that the sky would fall so that Republicans would cave and give him more tax increases, the same tactic he used with the fiscal cliff. It worked for him then but evidently the Republicans’ New Year’s resolution was to grow a spine. If so they’ve held on to their resolution longer than I did mine.

So basically all you need to know about this sequester nonsense is “don’t believe the hype” from the 0bama camp, and we can wait a little while longer on that R.E.M. song.

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The Democrats’ idea to avoid raising the debt ceiling by inventing a trillion dollar platinum coin has got me thinking. If they are seriously considering this as a viable option they must be hard up for good ideas, so I’ve decided to lead them a hand with a few ideas of my own on a few issues.

First the problem of government spending. Lets start by getting Congress to actually pass a budget. This may be a stretch but I was just thinking that if they were to pass a budget based on the actual amount of money they have coming in, we might not continue spending like it’s not their money. I know this idea is a little extreme since it is their job and all but it may help.

I also have some ideas to help fit all of the entitlement spending into this theoretical budget. Lets take welfare for instance. We could make it mandatory that people excepting welfare work. They should have to present their pay stub or stubs every month. If they fail to meet this requirement we give them a government job, on a road crew, or repairing government housing, or cutting grass, or picking up trash at a park, or whatever we can find them. For the people who have a child and have to get a check to support that child we will help them, because everyone makes mistakes, then we will also teach them about birth control. If they have another child and need more help raising those children, we will consider it child abuse and take those children and find parents that can take care of them. You want kids? get a job and take care of them. When it comes to food stamps, we reimburse grocery stores to put up special signs or some type of marker to signify which products can be purchased with the EBT card. We limit the recipient to the basics, no Little Debbie’s, no pricey cuts of meat, no expensive exotic fruits, and since the liberals are on their health kick why not limit them to healthy foods and no “sugary drinks”, no “sugary cereals”. I’ve went over my thoughts on disability and the like before so I’ll move on.

One of the hot topics today is gun control to try and limit mass shootings, and I’ve got the solution. First we take anyone who has sworn an oath to protect the constitution and has actively tried to limit the right to own a firearm and we try them as a traitors to the constitution. Since we already stopped rewarding single mothers for popping out an endless supply of government dependents, which is a big part of the problem, I think having less neglected youths will really help with the angry, mentally disturbed teens. Furthermore we should have a police officer in every school, and he/she needs to be armed with the standard issue sidearm, taser gun, pepper spray, and hand cuffs, because the people who commit these murders always chose a place that they know won’t have anyone who can stand up to them. They do this because they want to feel in control of these people, they decide who lives and who dies, an armed officer in the building will prevent them from fulfilling their fantasy.

I’ve also got an idea for gay marriage. Quite simply really, lets make a compromise. Let the jokers get married, just give it a different name so that marriage is still man and woman. Let them have their benefits, what harm can it cause? Some Christians would say that legalizing gay marriage would cause America to lose God’s favor, but honestly letting gays play house won’t change anything for any straight people. Whether they are married or not they will still be doing what they do, but if the Republican Party stops dictating what people can do with their lives, something we like to attribute to liberals, we may win an election.

If you have any ideas of your own you can share them with the whole world in the comment section down below, who knows you might come up with a gem like the trillion dollar coin!

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